jefferme

Is everything going to be OK? Will things start going my way?

But to win darling we must pay
So don't hide your heart away

For four years, I've learned how to tell stories, and that art has not only become a job, but it has also become a passion. Shouldn't it be fitting, then, that my Bonaventure story ends with a happily ever after?

Also, no matter what, I don't think I deserve to lose someone else.

The screen door slams
Mary's dress waves
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again
Don't run back inside
darling you know just what I'm here for
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me

You can hide 'neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a savior to rise from these streets
Well now I'm no hero
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer, girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow back your hair
Well the night's busting open
These two lanes will take us anywhere
We got one last chance to make it real
To trade in these wings on some wheels
Climb in back
Heaven's waiting on down the tracks
Oh oh come take my hand
Riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh oh Thunder Road, oh Thunder Road
oh Thunder Road
Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey I know it's late we can make it if we run
Oh Thunder Road, sit tight take hold
Thunder Road

Well I got this guitar
And I learned how to make it talk
And my car's out back
If you're ready to take that long walk
From your front porch to my front seat
The door's open but the ride it ain't free
And I know you're lonely
For words that I ain't spoken
But tonight we'll be free
All the promises'll be broken
There were ghosts in the eyes
Of all the boys you sent away
They haunt this dusty beach road
In the skeleton frames of burned out Chevrolets

They scream your name at night in the street
Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet
And in the lonely cool before dawn
You hear their engines roaring on
But when you get to the porch they're gone
On the wind, so Mary climb in
It's a town full of losers
And I'm pulling out of here to win.

Random musings:
My fall semester didn't go the way I wanted it to.
I spent the entire semester working to get my beloved A on my Capstone, and I didn't.
Shortly after I got home, my cell phone died for the third time. After using my dad's phone awhile, I broke out my old Razor, and I'm hoping it works until my mom can figure out how she wants to do the new plan.
The Bona men lost to Syracuse, and "Junk Gate" happened.
The women lost to Michigan State, and my phone interview with Coach didn't go well. Maybe that was because it happened after I got my Capstone grade.

Last night was weird, tonight was weirder, but all I know is that right now, despite everything that's happened in the last 24-plus hours, I have a smile on my face, and I have hope -- the hope that everything will turn out. I deserve this. I'm MJ F-ing Stevens, and I deserve this.

Goals for Spring 2010:
It's my last chance to make Bonaventure count. In May, I'll have my degree, but I want an education.
I want to get my first kiss, and I want it to be special. (Crap, I just told the entire Internet I've never been kissed. Oh well.)
I want to fall in love and know what being smitten feels like.
I want to live spontaneously, and I want to find something to smile about every single day, rain or shine. 
I want to play basketball at least once a week. This is the last time I'll have three basketball courts at my disposal ... for free, and I'm going to take advantage of them.
Oh, and I WILL get a 4.0 and make this semester count. Bonaventure will always be a large piece of what makes me MJ, but this is my last chance to live and be Bonaventure. I've worked my butt off for seven semesters, and this is my last chance to make it count, so I'm going to.

I'm MJ F-ing Stevens, and I deserve this. We deserve this.

That's all I've got for now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Things are going to get better, right? And everything's going to be OK, right? Yup. I believe it.

Dear God,

Please let everything work out. We deserve this.

Love,

MJ

“We are in a tough travel situation, and we don’t play our best game, and we’re still right there at the end. If that doesn’t tell our kids and some other people what we’re capable of, then I’m not sure what’s going to."

- St. Bonaventure women's basketball coach Jim Crowley on his team's first loss tonight.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh, it's official: I still love what I do. The loss hurts, but as long as they can be happy, so can I.

Oh, and I love my friends. A new take on Bona magic ... Isn't funny how when you're angry at Bonaventure and neither believe in its magic nor yourself, you realize how magical it really is?

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